O Amazon! O Amazon! How Lovely are Thy Deliveries!

Volume: Loud “PLEASE deliver soon!!”
Issue: Where are those Xmas presents!
Date: December 23, 2021

“Primenesia. Noun. Prime-ne-sia. When you order so much Amazon Prime that you don’t know what is in the box.”—Anonymous

O Amazon! O Amazon! How Lovely are Thy Deliveries!

’Twas Our Day of Prime Delivery when all through the house
All had begun “Where are the Christmas-presents?” grouse,
The stockings were empty—no stuffers there—
No candy, no tchotchkes—tree skirt all bare.

Young grands were nestled all snug in their beds
While dreams of video games danced in their heads.
And mama all worried about supply chain delays
And me, I hadn’t slept, worried for so many days.

We were glued to our iPads for news of our gifts
As the ships in San Fran floated in waves and drifts,
When near the front door there arose such a clatter
We sprang from our screens—was it Amazon patter?

I picked up my iphone as quick as a flash
To open the front door app (it cost lots of cash)
The door camera on the porch gave a fuzzy show
Of what was appearing on the road, moving slow.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear:
A truck with a “Prime arrow” downshifted a gear,
With a young driver popping out lively and quick,
And he masked up so fast to protect us from sick.

Deliver and deliver—that was his game.
More rapid than lasers up our walk he came,  
Double-checking our address, then he froze—oh, no!
And he uttered and muttered in a voice so low,

“My bad—wrong house, I’m outta here!!”
As he sprang to his truck and got back into gear,
Our wishes and dreams were dashed left and right, 
And then we exclaimed ere he drove out of sight,

“O, Amazon, we need you—can’t shop at 7-11!
O Amazon, you’re our Santa, our boxed consumer heaven!”

With warmest holiday wishes for the best of what Amazon can’t deliver—health, happiness, family, friends, hugs, peace, joy, love!

Irene